jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
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