So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
