So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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