Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
