Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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