Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
