so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
