I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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