she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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