Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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