how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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