You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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