i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
