Soap is not a condiment
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
