his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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