first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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