I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Green mimosas i think yes
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Randomize
