How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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