I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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