She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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