We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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