so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
