Your dad touched me again.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
