What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
