The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
