Swine flu is the new snow day.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize