You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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