Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize