If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I love black thongs
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize