someone threw a dead crab at me
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
