just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
