Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
