Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Floor bacon is actually really good
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
