: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
