Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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