I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
