Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize