physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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