That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
