Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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