Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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