just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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