You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize