I look better un-naked...
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
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