How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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