At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
