She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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