i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My breasts were aching with rage.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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