WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
