i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
