He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
