Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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