Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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