She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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