Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
And then he peed in my hair
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