Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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