Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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