batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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