Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
