that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
