I faked an abortion last night.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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